RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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