You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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