Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
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They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
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I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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