I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
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Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
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That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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