I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
