What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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