Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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