i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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