he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
you never un-have a 4some
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
