the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
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