i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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