I wanna passion pit in your ass
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
