he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
