please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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