there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
