Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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