The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
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