I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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