it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
this boner is exhausting
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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