I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
