Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
you never un-have a 4some
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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