We're like a lot better than the average bears
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME