Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet http://tfl.nu/7ieb
  Replies (58) Good night (869) Bad night (19688)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat? http://tfl.nu/beg4
  Replies (64) Good night (11061) Bad night (1887)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud. http://tfl.nu/41vp
  Replies (7) Good night (4536) Bad night (703)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me. http://tfl.nu/z6ig
  Replies (20) Good night (9715) Bad night (1773)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes? http://tfl.nu/05g8
  Replies (5) Good night (3947) Bad night (895)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.' http://tfl.nu/1grt
  Replies (22) Good night (2250) Bad night (4474)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos... http://tfl.nu/fyfs
  Replies (9) Good night (2952) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card. http://tfl.nu/uepf
  Replies (12) Good night (4470) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere. http://tfl.nu/yzs5
  Replies (3) Good night (2314) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook. http://tfl.nu/hkf6
  Replies (6) Good night (1513) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit http://tfl.nu/8uwi
  Replies (2) Good night (1740) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route http://tfl.nu/dfjg
  Replies (6) Good night (3141) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  do you know where my other puke covered boot is

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (361): do you know where my other puke covered boot is http://tfl.nu/w5qn
  Replies (1) Good night (357) Bad night (818)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though. http://tfl.nu/tou6
  Replies (11) Good night (1728) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Most definitely.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you? (901): Most definitely. http://tfl.nu/a94l
  Replies (4) Good night (839) Bad night (259)

Randomize