Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
