Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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