Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
