its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
