Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
