How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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