maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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