Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
