I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
