somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
