10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
