Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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