at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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