Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
