Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
