i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
