So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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