I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
