so explain again why im purple
no
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
