I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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