By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize