Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
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I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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