so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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