I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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