He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
How drunk are you?
Completed.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
