im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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