i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
