ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize