I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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