like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
