Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
