He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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