i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
