new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
