Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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